Do people often tag you as over sensitive and emotional? Do you often get emotional and feel like bursting into tears? Do you relate yourself when you see someone in pain or despair?
Then you are one among the few selected individuals who are bestowed with this rarely available characteristic in today’s world. In modern hustling and bustling lifestyle, where no one pays a heed to others’ feeling and sentiments, you have got a larger heart with just aggrandized sentiment. This is not something you should be ashamed of and thinking of renouncing. Rather it epitomizes your endurance and ingenuity since you are not the one who fabricates oneself to conceal their emotion. Your heart is big enough to care for something – a person, an event, a cause, or anything and almost everything – to such great extent.
Understand that this is an ingrained and inborn trait that can never eradicate. You must not think of indulging in “how to get rid of my emotions?” or “how not to be overly emotional and sentimental?” sort of practices. You cannot diminish your emotions. The only thing that you can do about these behavioral traits is that you can learn how to put these traits on display so your identity is not mistaken to be susceptible, defensive, fragile, and debased. Another convincing reason to act strong on surface is that you provide the other person the liberty to be normal – not sympathetic, not conscious, and not uncomfortable – with you. Your friends or supervisors sometimes might not offer a suggestion or criticism in fear of hurting you. So acting mature and strong enough can refill that gap.
Following propositions could be immensely helpful while dealing with your emotional overflow.
Do not let anyone else point out your weakness(es)
Everyone – believe me each one in this world – has some weakness or soft spot which could make them sob on a mere mention of it. And your sensitivity could surface too if someone touches that fragility of yours. It is nobody’s business to use your break-ability against you intentionally. Even if you get emotional on some occasion, it should be no one to denigrate you for that. If someone does that, you should talk to them and warn if necessary that their behavior is not respectful and they must not pick on you in future.
Be careful whom you cry your heart out
Do not be naïve in revealing your emotions to any other person in the world. There are a handful of genuine people who will be honestly concerned about you; rest others will just try to get some gossips materials and think you clingy. Save yourself from being mocked by the latter group of people, the psychopaths and ruthless bunch. They are your fake well-wishers. Be mindful in observing who your genuine friend is and whom you can confide in.
Do not expect the same feeling from other person
Everybody may not be as sensitive as you, therefore, accept the fact that other person may not reciprocate with the same affection. If you like or love someone, there are chances that you might not be acknowledged and it could just remain an unrequited love. It is certainly heart breaking but do not take it personally. It’s perfectly fine to grieve on that matter, but it’s not fine to demean yourself for that matter. Respect other person’s opinion and let them go for their own good because you will definitely get better. Show your emotion only to them who reciprocated you else reserve your feelings to yourself and save your grace.
Do not be judgmental for every situation
Being sensitive doesn’t mean that you start feeling bad for each & everything that is said to you. Do not over-analyze and do not take everything personally. Try to see the situation the way IT IS, nothing more than it. Remember that the world doesn’t revolve around you and everything said and done is not meant to target you. Learn to ignore the things.
Do not make your emotions dependent on someone else
Do not let yourself get addicted to someone, even your spouse, to such an extent that their act and presence controls your happiness. If it happens that mean you are using your emotion as weakness. There is only one person in this entire cosmos who must own you and control your sanity – YOU. There is a silver line between loving someone and being dependent on someone.
The more you feel confident, the less you are vulnerable. The best way to feel confident is to diversify your life by accumulating more knowledge. There are various avenues of making one empowered, such as learning a new thing, indulging in a new hobby, traveling, cooking, art, and the list goes endless. Explore your life and take chances that you have never done before – travel alone to some place, learn an alien language, or discover something new. Start writing as it is considered one of the best mediums to vent your anger, emotion, or thoughts.
List down the patterns which makes you emotional
There must be some specific events which conspire every time to surface your emotions – for example, when you are criticized by boss, when someone points your weakness, or when someone scratches your hidden unfulfilled desire or ambition, or many other related sequences.
From now on, let’s try these routines:
Start making a list of all of events on a daily basis when you broke down or vulnerable.
After a week, go through your list and perform some data analysis. Identify patterns whether there is any recurring incidence, or is there any particular topic which tears your heart apart, or if this is being inflicted by a particular person, i.e. is someone picking you on intentionally. Pin all those patterns.
Prepare some action plans that you would like to pursue in order to respond to those incidences. For instance, when next time your manager rejects your idea or proposal, rather than simply getting emotional and sobbing, ask him politely that what are the reasons that your suggestion does not qualify and what are the criteria that you must consider in future in regard to improvements. This way your manager will start thinking in providing constructive criticism and at the same time you will hone your skills. Another instance could be that if someone intimidates you for your height, looks, career, or any of your sensitive spot intentionally, then it’s time to respond with a witty remark.
You have to decide your course of action – giving a prompt reply, requesting clarification, having a one-to-one talk, or to simply ignore for good. Start practicing it from now on itself.
Contribute to social work
You are entrusted with augmented emotion and sensitivity than others and it is for some reason. The way you can feel the pain of an underprivileged, an average person cannot. Hence, lend your hands to those in despair. You don’t need to contribute financially, spending some of your time will be worth a million dollar. Any act of such humanitarian act will positively be a life changing event for you.
Turn toward spirituality
Spirituality is such a blissful and euphoric experience which would rejuvenate your personality. Here, let me be very clear that I am not advocating following a specific religion or any such group. I am signifying to have realization of that supreme power – in whatever form you wish – to seek strength, wisdom, direction, and to be thankful for all the good in your life. It worked for me. At one point of time, when everything in my life seemed just a big black hole, I surrendered and eventually found solace in the arm of spirituality.
Give time to yourself
You are learning to use your emotion. Like any other skill, this too will take some time to build up. It is about changing your perspective toward things that happen around you. Keep practicing your action plan. Within some time, you will realize how maturely you are managing your emotions. You will feel that there are the same people, same events, same comments, same actions, but now your reactions toward them – or specifically toward the events – have changed. You have changed positively. Trust in time and your firm practice.
These exercises do not teach you to be insensitive or unemotional. These train you how to put your traits on display so people do not undermine you and take your advantage. These empower you how to use your behaviors to know more about yourself.
“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert from Eat Pray Love
Shweta Kumari Sharma
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